After living with type 1 diabetes for about 25 years, you’d think I’d be absolutely fine when it comes to how I feel handling it in a group setting. Nope, not always. Don’t get me wrong, things have got easier over the years. However, there’s always those moments when I feel completely alone. It’s nobody’s fault; it’s just the situation, and one of the many aspects of living with a chronic illness that
I find challenging. Here are some of the ways my diabetes can give me that isolated feeling when I’m meant to be having all the fun with family and friends.
1. The dreaded blood sugar tests
Part of keeping everything under control with diabetes is ensuring that my blood sugars are stable, which means regular testing. This always involves pricking my finger to get some blood out. The process is straightforward enough, but I’ve had some raised eyebrows, grossed-out faces, and even the odd ‘ugh’ or ‘ew’ directed at me, especially if I’ve been sat in a bar or a restaurant. Therefore, I can often be found in a toilet cubicle, alone, checking how much insulin I’m going to need to eat that four cheese pizza I have coming to the table we’ve booked. There’s nothing like sitting on a loo when you don’t need to go to really feel separate from the group.
2. Carb counting
Remember that four cheese pizza I just mentioned? Well, it’s going to take mental arithmetic and experience to ensure that I’ve worked out the amount of carbohydrates in that treat. I can’t just get stuck in like everyone else, so there can often be an awkward pause while people I don’t know that well see me frowning as I try to make the best guesstimate possible. I envy the rest of the table as they tuck in without a care (quite rightly so), and this can bring home how different my daily life can be. I know I’ll have to keep checking my sugars that night, while they’re sleeping and dreaming of Italy.
3. Oh no, not a hypo
Hypoglycemia or a hypo as us diabetics call it, is when our blood sugars drop too low. This can cause a range of symptoms depending on the severity. However, I always end up sweating, extremely anxious, cold and shaky; I’ll cry, and usually go home early. Nobody likes to be the first to leave, and leaving before the party’s started is guaranteed to give me serious FOMO.
4. No switching off
No matter how many cocktails I’ve treated myself to, there’s no getting away from all that counting, testing, and potential hypos. This can sometimes impact how present I feel; my mind will often be wandering off and worrying about whether I gave myself any insulin after that fourth mojito. When your mind’s elsewhere for a while, it can be challenging to get back into the swing of things and feel at one with your gang.
5. Stuff
I can pretty much guarantee that in any group setting I’ll always be the one carrying the most stuff around. Sometimes I’d like to take a teeny bag out with me, and feel part of the small bag crew. All the kit, all of the time, can make me feel different. Feeling different can often lead to the sense that you’re always going solo, no matter how many lovely people are around you.
https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/26/5-ways-diabetes-can-make-you-feel-alone-7572090/
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