How to talk to loved ones about diabetes

By Emily Buxton Marrison
From eu.coshoctontribune.com

A couple of months ago I taught a series of classes called Dining with Diabetes.
The main objective of the class was to show how nutrition choices can help more effectively manage diabetes. Another piece of the class is the opportunity to be with others going through the same challenges and struggles, and learn from one another.

One common struggle is not from the person with diabetes, but instead from a family member. They want to know the best way to support their loved one and to help them adjust to the behavior changes they need to make to be healthy.
Ohio State University Extension recently published a new fact sheet, Communication Strategies to Support a Family Member with Diabetes. Since nearly 10 percent of Americans have diabetes, many of us know at least one family member who has been diagnosed. About 25 percent of Americans have prediabetes which, according to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, leads to diabetes within 5 years if left untreated.

Many of you may realize you need to have a tough conversation with a loved one, but you’re not sure how to start. Or maybe your nagging and preaching isn’t getting the results you are hoping for, so you are ready to try something new.

I think that one of the best places for you to start is educate yourself about diabetes. Have you studied the best recommended practices for managing diabetes? Where do you turn for trusted advice? Do you have reasonable expectations for your loved one?

Sometimes people with diabetes feel like their family members are the diet police, watching them like a hawk. Other people with diabetes may feel almost the opposite about their family members. They may feel like they are being sabotaged by their apathetic family as they are forced to watch everyone around indulge in unhealthy nutrition choices. During our Dining with Diabetes classes we focused on a balance between these two extremes by focusing on portion size and lower carbohydrate options rather than ever restricting foods from the meal plan.     

One thing to consider is at what stage of behaviour change your loved one with diabetes may be. Are they aware of the consequences of not changing or adopting self-management behaviours, but still not committed or motivated to change? Or maybe they are motivated to change, but are just starting out with new behaviours? The way you communicate with them depends on where they fall on this continuum on behaviour change.

If someone is not interested in change at all, then consider using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. A “you” statement would be “If you don’t stop eating ice cream like that, you’re going to end up with lots of complications.” An “I” statement would be “I care about you and am worried about the complications that diabetes can cause if we don’t make some changes.”

Look for opportunities to do things together including increasing your physical activity, cooking together, or changing other family habits. It can also be helpful to identify a partner who will provide coaching and accountability for their goals. The chances of success may increase if this accountability partner is a health care professional or other friend rather than a family member.

Today I’ll leave you with this quote from Michael Jordan: “If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.“

https://eu.coshoctontribune.com/story/news/local/2019/06/15/how-talk-loved-ones-diabetes/1455676001/